So what happened I hear you ask, well take a seat and I will tell you.
This morning I rose very early (well, early for me, before 8.00am) to the sound of cat retching (which was nice). It's just not really possible to lay in bed knowing that there is a pile of cat puke outside your bedroom door, so I decided to get up and clean it up - as you should.
Only I couldn't find any! Anywhere! I was most nervous in case I had missed it and accidentally trod in it later, but I still have not come across it - must have been a dry retch.
So, because I was up early I decided to do some listings on my new webshop.
Three times I went up to the shed, to collect things to bring back to the house so I could list them. I would do it up there, in the shed, but no internet access at the moment (it's on the "to do" list), so I was trailing back and forth. Never once taking my phone with me. Anyone who knows me will know that I leave it laying all over the place.
The forth time I took my ipad with me as I needed to take some photos of some magazines. I am happily snapping away as the wind howled outside and the rain battered the window. "Glad I am not out in that!" I thought to myself.
I had finished my job but it was still raining, and rather than go out in the rain I decided to start to do something else for a while. All the time I am getting chillier and chillier. This could be due to my habit of wearing flip-flops ALL YEAR ROUND and not putting anything warmer on than a cheesecloth shirt.
When it got a little too chilly to bear I decided to brave the rain and go inside. Armed with my two buckets of buttons (to list) I pulled down the handle of the shed door and pushed........ it was blocked. Pushed again, nope, no good, it wasn't going anywhere.
Now, on the outside of the door we have a safety latch thing, that swings over a lock, then you twist the lock to bolt it all shut - it's solid steel and a security thing - so no naughty bead robbers can break in - that's once they've got past the security lights and the alarm system of course ;)
The wind had blown the latch over and it had shut me in!!
It was around 10.30am and I was shut in the shed. I did laugh to myself. Then I stopped laughing and realised that I couldn't get out!
I pat down my pockets - no phone.
I know my mate Lezley is at home as we are 'doing lunch' later - she will surely wonder where I am, it's not like I ever miss a lunch date. She will see my car is outside and work out I am in the shed. But, no, hang on, she will come down to the back garden to access the shed, but the 6 foot gate is locked! And she is a little short lady and I just cannot see her being able to vault over a 6 foot gate.
Oh bugger. I realise I am probably going to be in the shed until at least 6pm tonight. If not later as I fear that even when Hubby comes home he wont think to look in the shed and I am going to have to wait until it is dark when I can start flicking the lights on and off in the vain hope that he might spot it through his office window.
Ah ha!, it's fine, no worries. I have my iPad with me don't I? I will just send my son a text. Yeah, clever Sooz, you need data signal to send an iMessage and guess what? No internet access in the shed.
At this point I sat on the floor close to tears. An action plan was needed. I looked out of the window to see that I had left the back door open. The house would be freezing, but at least it would alert Hubster that I was in the shed (in 7 and a half hours time)
I needed a wee, thank goodness for the old bucket shopping baskets I used to use when I had a shop (for customers to put beads in you understand, not to pee in), I would wait until I was desperate and use that.
I had crocheted socks and two granny square blankets stored in one of the shelving racks - that's my warmth sorted out. No food or drink, but I am sure I had enough fat reserves to cope.
I sat on a box of beads and thought how cold and long and horrible it was going to be. Then I stood back up and with a swift movement of my arm wiped the contents of the table into the floor in a fit of pure temper. (accompanied by a rather large scream). No one heard me.
Once I had had a little cry, I pulled myself together and started to tidy up my mess. Might as well make something of the time I had to spend in there. Picking all the stuff from the table up, beads, magazines, my phone....
I had my phone. I must have brought it out with the iPad and put it on the table. WHOOP WHOOP I was getting out!!
Who could I phone? My parents have a key to my house, they could let themselves in and into the back and open the latch. Ahh, but I have a habit of locking the front door and leaving the key in, which stops other people putting their key in to open it. There is no way Daddy L was going to be able to get over that gate.
Shona (daughter) was at work. I tried Iain (#1 son), It is now 11.45am and he was still in bed (he works in a pub and finishes late). "Morning son, you busy?" "Emmm, not hugely, what do you want?" "I am shut in the shed, can you come and let me out please?" A 5 minute interval of hysterical laughing follows. "And please can you hurry up I am dying for a wee!!"
So, he came, he unlocked, he laughed (a lot) as did his girlfriend. But I put up with it and made them a cuppa to say thank you. I had been locked in the shed for just over 2 hours.
My toes were blue, my fingers were blue, the house was toasty warm and I was glad to be back in it.
Now the moral to this story is, always put the latch in lock position when entering the shed - especially on a windy day, and keep your phone in your pocket.